I'm a male sexual abuse survivor. I'm also a ritual abuse survivor. I am rare, and belong to a company of men and boys, mostly silent, scared. So few have survived well enough to talk about it. I know I have to, because I DID survive, and because I see them in every group I meet, from 5 to 70 years old suffering, silent victims who are not really considered REAL victims by many, since the male species, in their minds, should be able to fend off any abuse. No matter how little they were. No matter how bad and scary it was. So we keep mostly quiet, to avoid the humiliation of questioning, cynical eyes that seem to say, "Come on, you could have done SOMETHING to stop it!" Can you imagine the public outrage in most places nowadays if you said that to a female rape victim? But no one really defends boy and men victims. So we've stayed silent. Wouldn't you? If you're a victim, you probably do. You probably picked this book up with a big knot of fear in your gut, hoping no one would suspect you might be one of the 1 in 6.

I want to tell you, you've got nothing to be afraid of. After all, being molested was something that was done to you, and you shouldn't feel you have to apologize for looking for some hope, that you feel you have to hide because of someone else's sins against you. Do those who are cynical have any idea what it's like, what it feels like, how much it hurts? Then forget about the doubters. You need a friend and I hope you just picked it up a book with a Voice, one you'll know is also maybe yours and one that is warm and real. A voice, mainly, of a brother who's struggling out of his pain, too.

I try not to look too hard at how much progress I've made, I get too introspective and then it goes into selfpity, and that's worse than anything I can think of. When things about being molested come up, I do my best to face it. I've totally overcome some things like blaming myself but I'm still struggling with others like being afraid that it's written all over my forehead and people just "know". Some struggles are no surprise, some are very fresh and eventsensitive, and some knock me sideways when I'm not expecting any more to handle. But now I have hope, because little by little I've been healed, and I want to give a little of that to you.

I've written from my history, my head and my heart. There's not a lot of statistics, but I've put in a few for those who just want to help. A lot of the following is from my own experience, as graphic and real as I dare. For me, no one knew. No one should have to struggle that way. Accept this as a gift from a friend to let you know YOU'RE NOT ALONE.