Predator Radar

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=168 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="002a11c3.png"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Home Page"><U>HOME</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Book Page"><U>BOOKS   </U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Articles"><U>ARTICLES</U></A></div> <bR> <div>  <A HREF="id7.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Tapes"><U>TAPES</U></A>   </div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id8.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Spiritual Warfare/Occult "><U>SPIRITUAL WARFARE, OCCULT   </U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id77.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sexual Abuse Issues"><U>SEXUAL ABUSE ISSUES</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id11.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Exposing the Darkness Seminar"><U>***EXPOSING THE DARKNESS SEMINAR***</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:greid@elp.rr.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:greid@elp.rr.com"><U> <img src="HTMLobj-759/aniGif.gif" border="0" align="bottom" width="67" height="50">  </U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#99FF66" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="216eaaa0.gif" border=0 width="234" height="170" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Chapter Sixteen</B></div> <div> <B>Predator Radar</B></div> <div> <B>Then & Now</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Unfortunately, being molested for me was a repeated experience and went on into late adolescence.  I was a gaping wound.  Predators know that kind of thing like a wolf that's had a taste of blood they can sniff out a wounded kid.  They're "easy".</B></div> <div> <B>  </B></div> <div> <B> Now if you haven't been molested, you won't understand how a boy or teen kid who was molested can "let it happen" more than once.  Well, it's like you're paralyzed.  When you're little, and a stronger, older teen or adult molests you, you're in panic fear and go into total shock and paralysis.  You can't move.  Your mind is saying, "They can't be doing this to me", your body is responding to the sexual stimulation, but your heart and body are frozen and unable to stop them.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   Unhealed, the next predator finds you easily, and makes you relive the nightmare.  if you're not willing to accept the reality of repeat molestation, don't try to help a victim of it.  They'll know in a second if you're thinking, "He could have just said no or kicked them or something."</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   Besides the satanic abuse and child pornography I was forced into as a child, I was later initiated by an older boy when I was about 9 and it continued until I was 14, which is also the year I was raped by someone who picked me up hitchhiking.  At 16 it happened again at work, and at 18 an older man "took me under his wing", played fatherfigure to me, let me move in with him to help me through school and molested me for 3 months.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   I suffered horribly with guilt and confusion for years.  If you haven't been molested and you're struggling to accept someone who has been molested more than once, you have no idea what it's like to hate yourself so much for "letting it happen" again.  Only in the last ten years could I accept that I was just responding to the poison of predator seduction and paralyzation and conditioning.  Now I know.  Now I can smell a predator a mile away, no matter how slick they are.  I can feel him sniffing for fresh blood.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   Several predators were experts at emotional manipulation and guilt.  "If you tell, I'll kill myself!" (Yeah?  Go for it.)  I fell for this one:  "It's something all kids do."  No it ain't.  Not with adults.  Not with people like you.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   Breaking the sexual entrapment was hard.  But I didn't realize I tended to attract ALL power grabbers looking for someone to control.  Most of my relationships were people who were drawn to my "hurt puppy" look, and developed a friendship where they had total control and emotional power.  I did what  THEY wanted, I went where  THEY wanted to go, and if I got angry at not being considered, they got upset, and said I was ungrateful for all they did for me!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   I even got trapped by a counselor that showered me with "love", and gifts and money.  He said I never let him love me.  Maybe I didn't.  It was at a time when my new "radar" was being installed, and maybe I could sense there was going to be a big price tag to this relationship if I let him get too close to me.  I knew there was going to be a catch.  He wanted to "love" me, "counsel" me, "take care" of me translation:  "Control" me.  (Note: Not everyone who wants to do these things for us has power motives; that's why having sharp radar is important.)</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   When I finally confronted him, he went NUTS.  Cried.  Cajoled.  Left.  He followed up with a letter which tore me to shreds. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>    I returned everything.  And I forgave him, and ended the relationship, and vowed that this would be the last time I'd ever get trapped by anyone with a predator's scent, sexually or emotionally.  And it was.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>   I LEARNED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id120.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Revolving Door"><U><B>Chapter Seventeen - Out Of The Revolving Door</B></U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>