Counting the Cost
Jesus said it was important to count the cost before you built something, to make sure you had
what it took to finish it.
A friend recently passed on an insight of real revelation. She pointed out the great difference
between counting the cost and PAYING THE PRICE. Just because a builder measures, calculates and
plans, does not mean he will ever build. He has to get the materials and then DO IT.
We're good at counting the cost. I suppose we feel we should be patted on the back for obeying
Jesus in that much. "Oh, it COSTS to follow Jesus!" How many preachers and evangelists have you
heard say that? Somehow, it's hard to believe some of them as they drive away in their new Seville
back to their half million dollar mansion to enjoy their million and a half a year salary! (Oh, ministry is SO HARD!)
God would probably be laughing if He weren't crying.
But then, it's not really about money.
It's about the heart. I've certainly seen poorly paid preachers who were as mean and selfish as
some rich ones. And I've even seen well off Christians who are unselfishly committed to the work of
the Lord.
You can count the cost of following Jesus and never, ever pay a single dime of it. In fact, it's
fashionable to do so. It sounds very spiritual to talk about cost counting, it impresses people - but
not God. He's into show and tell. Who PAYS THE PRICE? That's the real issue.
What IS the price?
Servanthood. Sacrifice. Submission to the Father's Will.
Brokenness. Selflessness. Crucifixion.
People point to the cross and say sternly, "There's a price we must pay!" I think people would
listen more if those words were spoken from ON the cross, rather than UNDER it. I don't mean to
suggest (God forbid!) that we can add one thing to our redemption. Jesus DID pay it all. This is
rather about Paul's words: "I am crucified with Christ". And again, "Crucify the flesh with the
affections and lusts thereof." Too many stay near enough to obtain the BLESSINGS of the Cross
without ever feeling the REQUIREMENT of it.
And just what IS that requirement?
What is the price for true Spirit-filled Christ-like life?
Crucifixion of your selfish nature.
The "Big I" has to die!
The "I" that asserts its will, demands its way, clings to its pride, holds to its likes, dislikes and
prejudices; insists on its viewpoint, manipulates others and never gives an inch.
It bothers me that this is rarely preached. It bothers me even more how we spiritually justify so
much selfishness. Selfish will becomes "God told me". Self-indulgence becomes "I'm a king's kid!"
We do what we like or avoid what we don't like and simply say, "I feel led" or "I don't feel led".
Personal prejudices become "righteous indignation". On it goes. We have perfectly disguised our
national religious quest for political and social clout, our greed and love of money, our hatred for
certain kinds of sinners and a thousand other things.
But where do you see the brokenness? Is it to be found in many Christian TV personalities? In
the magazines? In the concerts? Who is broken? It's easy to tell (rare though it is), for broken vessels have paid the price and from that brokenness flows Jesus' healing love, life and power.
We haven't the foggiest notion yet of paying the price. Not really! We tithe without really
sacrificing, attend church without allowing ourselves to belong to others, we draw a neat little line
around our home, family and lifestyle that says, "THIS is MINE!" And whatever is yours, is not
God's. Period!!! (I myself am afraid to write more, because I feel I have not paid this price either!)
As one man said, if God is to tell us the truth, we must first undeceive ourselves. And selfishness - our old man - will fight to the last drop of blood to avoid exposure and eviction. Even appear deeply spiritual! But to the open hearted and willing, who will say, "I'll pay the price", God will shine the light.
C.S. Lewis, one of the most profound, honest writers of all time, in his last years faced this truth, and it broke him. He chronicled it in a poem that makes me shake under its harsh honesty and naked reality:
ALL THIS IS FLASHY RHETORIC ABOUT LOVING YOU
I NEVER HAD A SELFISH THOUGHT SINCE I WAS BORN.
I AM MERCENARY AND SELF-SEEKING THROUGH AND THROUGH.
I WANT GOD, YOU, ALL FRIENDS, MERELY TO SERVE MY TURN.
PEACE, REASSURANCE, PLEASURE ARE THE GOALS I SEEK;
I CANNOT CRAWL ONE INCH OUTSIDE MY PROPER SKIN.
I TALK OF LOVE, (A SCHOLAR'S PARROT MAY TALK GREEK)
BUT, SELF- IMPRISONED, ALWAYS END WHERE I BEGIN.
Only a broken man can be so brutally honest! Don't you feel the shock of this confession? In the
unveiling, the destroying of his lofty self-image, came then the stark reality of his utter helplessness, hopelessness:
ONLY THAT NOW YOU HAVE SHOWN ME (BUT HOW LATE THE LACK!)
I SEE THE CHASM. AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE
WAS MAKING MY HEART INTO A BRIDGE BY WHICH I MIGHT GET BACK
FROM EXILE, AND GROW MAN. AND NOW THE BRIDGE IS BREAKING.
Do you know what we are, really? We're a generation of children - spoiled, selfish, unbroken,
unyielded, playing religious games, playing church (as a child might play house) playing follow the
leader (and so few really know where to go!) Playing dress-up. Just playing! Surely this isn't what
Jesus meant by becoming as a child! For true child-likeness requires crucifixion of childISHness!
Forgive the secular source (critics, here's your cue) but I vaguely recall a Star Trek episode in
which several orphaned children raised themselves. Everything was a game to them - including hurting people and destroying things. They looked like children but their selfishness and lack of emotional growth made them MONSTERS.
No one can become like a child until the self-will of childishness is put to the cross. THAT is the
price. To lay down our selfish whims, every clinging to "our" things, our way, our position at the
foot of the Cross and in brokenness say, "Take it all, Jesus, just give me Yourself!"
C.S. Lewis ends with:
FOR THIS I BLESS YOU AS THE RUINS FALL;
THE PAINS YOU GIVE ME ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN ALL OTHER GAINS.
When we start to see our real selfishness, and when we say, "Put it to the Cross! And with it,
anything that is rooted in my old life!", then Jesus lovingly does just that. And then we understand:
it is a RELIEF to be free of it all! To be free from the self-centered life is to be free completely!
A one-time thing? Not hardly! Yielding is daily, as He shows us, as things are revealed. But it is a good, and glorious, and ever freeing way.
To what end is the price-paying? Just this: That from our yieldedness will come an overflow of
God's glory, His power, miracles and love.
We talk of revival, the next Great Move of the Spirit - a craving to see God work mightily. We
ask for the Spirit to be poured on us like the book of JOEL says - are we ready to do the mourning,
the weeping of brokenness that comes before? Who will pay the price?
What does it take? Oh, the easiest, hardest thing in the world!
Willingness!
O brave heart, dare pray it:
"Jesus, I am willing! Whatever it takes! I yield my heart, my possessions, my family, my ALL to
You! It's Yours, ALL of it!"
The price is not about going out, selling your possessions, quitting your job and going to Africa.
The price is WILLINGNESS to do all that and MORE, should He ask, for the sake of His dear love.
The price is taking all you have and putting it at His feet and saying, "All I have is Yours", giving Him permission to say "I want THIS" to anything, and being ready to yield it up. It's not that He WILL - it's that He CAN if He NEEDS for the sake of His Kingdom.
Then, you are free. You own nothing, and are owned by nothing and no one but Jesus. All is a
gift. You are a servant to all and glad to have it so.
Is that a steep price? It is no price at all, compared to the overwhelming Presence and Love He
gives in exchange. The Glory waits for those who are willing.
Gregory Reid
