Threshing
We have to learn to handle people God's way. I've read many
Christian counseling books. Some are very cut and dry, advising
counselors to just state the scriptural facts and demand that the
person follow through or sever the counseling sessions. Others are
more liberal, using situational ethics and bending scriptures. I'd
like to offer another way.
We have to recognize that people are complex and each person
has their own history. When I first began counseling, I had my
dozen or so scriptural remedies, and no matter what the situation, I
dispensed them like pills and if it didn't work for the person, it was
obvious to me that they weren't right with God. The "prophet
syndrome." But the more I studied scripture, and the more I
counseled, the more I realized that the Bible is deeper and broader
than my own pat answers, and only the Holy Spirit knew what the
person needed. I've met with some people who are so damaged
that there are SEVERAL major areas of sin needing to be dealt
with. What do I deal with first? How do I approach it scripturally?
I knew one man who was bound by homosexuality, pornography,
alcohol and occult practices. In my own wisdom, I felt the
homosexuality was the first thing to confront. The Holy Spirit said
no; the occult practices had to be dealt with first. With another
person, perhaps they are having problems with going to adult
bookstores. Of course it is sin. But the Holy Spirit may want to
emphasize and move the person into strong fellowship first,
because He knows that fellowship will give the person the spiritual
strength they need to overcome their temptations.
In other words, to be effective counselors we have to let the
Holy Spirit be the Counselor. That's His Name, that is His work.
We fail because we have formulas for every sin and hurt. We end
up playing God over someone's life.
I recently was reminded of a verse that helped me to
understand that work of Jesus: "He doesn't thresh all grains the
same." (Isaiah 28:28a Living Bible) Have you ever wondered
why some people seem to be continually chastised by the Lord,
while others don't ever seem to struggle very much? Well, God
doesn't thresh all grains the same. He alone knows what we need.
The threshing of God is to take the chaff away and produce fruit
in us and through us. Some grains have to be threshed gently,
because they are soft and easily damaged. Others have very hard
encasements and must be handled more roughly. God alone knows
which we are, and that is why we can't "assume" in counseling
what a person needs to hear or do.
Some time ago, I was in one of the most painful times of my
Christian life. I was broke, homeless, almost friendless. I was
hurting and desperate. A friend came to me and said, "God is in
this. He knows because of your background, wounds, sins and
problems that the only way He can ever free you is by harshly
dealing with you. Otherwise, you would destroy yourself." That's
the last thing I wanted to hear! I was already in enough pain, I
didn't ask for the horrible events of my childhood, it was UNFAIR!
But now I understand. I was so bound by self-deception and pride
that God had to raze my life to the foundation in order to rebuild
me. Because He loved me! I wouldn't change one iota of those
dealings of God, because it produced a peace and stability in me I
would have never had, if I had refused His hand.
Others don't seem to go through much at all! How I used to
resent that. They prospered, they had friends and good jobs and
families. When God did deal with them, it was seemingly gently
and not very earth-shaking. Now I understand; some of those sweet
folks don't have the emotional or physical constitution to handle
much pain, and they may have a solid upbringing that doesn't
necessitate a severe dealing of God. He threshes all grains
differently!
Regarding scriptures and counseling, it is so important not
to run roughshod over people with our quick verses. I firmly
believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God. It can't be
changed. That doesn't give me the right, however, to pick a few
scriptures regarding sin and throw them at someone just because of
what I see outwardly. I may see someone who outwardly is an
alcoholic, and I'll want to quote all the scriptures on drunkenness.
(Odds are the person already knows they are sinning.) The Holy
Spirit may see inside and know that this person lost his wife in an
auto accident, and he desperately needs to deal with and be healed
of his grief before he can overcome his problem. Do you
understand?
Someone may accuse me of preaching situational ethics. I'm
not. But I'll make it clear that while I'm conservative in theology, I
am liberal in application. You may say, "But the Bible is clear
about sin. We have to confront people and make them forsake their
sins." First, only occasionally do people need to be told they are
sinning. They know it. Second, the scriptures cover hundreds of
sins, from adultery to gluttony, from murder to gossip. Isn't it
interesting that we always go for the "biggies", and tend to ignore
the "lesser sins"? I heard from a friend about a holiness revival
years ago. Brother Brown was preaching a hellfire sermon on
holiness, and he went up to Sister Smith on the front row who
smoked like a chimney. He pointed in her face and said, "What are
you going to use for an ashtray in heaven, Sister?" She thought
for a moment and said, "Well, I think maybe I'll just use your
coffee cup." Brother Brown had his own pet sins he didn't like and
majored on, and he ignored those in his own life. That is why it is
so important in counseling to first ask God to finger anything in
YOUR life that is wrong, THEN ask the Holy Spirit to help you
deal with the other person. And never forget that our natural
tendency is to look only at the outward; the scriptures say not to
judge by outward appearance, but on the heart.
This is the crux, really, of ministering to people by His Spirit;
God is much less concerned with actions than He is essence.
Attitudes. Intentions. Did you know that two people can commit the
same sin with different motives? Proverbs 6 says that a man who
takes another man's wife (stealing) will get wounds and dishonor.
Yet a thief will not be despised if he steals food because he's
HUNGRY. One stole from greed. One from need. Both were sin;
both necessitated payment; but the one who stole from need was
much less harshly dealt with. The intent and motive of the heart is
what God judges. Don't ever judge an action until you understand
the intent. Some people commit what we call "small" sins, like
gossip, and are never called into account, when they need strong
rebuke. Others may commit what we think of as "greater" sins, yet
God may want to handle them more gently that we, because He
knows the desperation of their hearts. I'm not going soft on sin.
ALL sin is serious and to be dealt with; but GOD'S way, in HIS
time and with HIS HEART.
I think the Pharisees were much like some of our modern
Christian counselors. They knew the law and expected everyone to
live up to it like they did. They expected that the coming Messiah
would do the same. Instead, He came in MERCY. He confirmed
the law. He upheld it. But He understood the inability of man to do
it without Him. And while upholding the reality of sin, the law and
judgment, He extended the most mercy to those deepest in sin,
because He saw their hearts and their helplessness. He knew why
they did what they did. It's interesting to me that when we talk
about the woman caught in adultery, we are so quick to say, "Sure,
Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you', but He also said, 'Go and
sin no more'." How vital it is to understand that the POWER to "go
and sin no more" only becomes real when we hear " I do not
condemn you"!
Again, God isn't looking so much at action as motive. You
see, the Pharisees didn't DO any bad things; they were simply
rotten in the heart. Jesus saw that and condemned them with
vehemence. There are many other instances in scripture to
illustrate this. Jacob was a liar and a con artist. His brother was a
good guy, but he despised his spiritual heritage. God saw that
Jacob, although he was doing wrong, could be spiritually changed.
Esau didn't do any great sin, but his heart was hard to the things
of God. If we were there, we might have disfellowshipped Jacob
and put Esau on our pulpit committee! Or, David and Saul. David
was a murderer, adulterer. He was punished, but he never lost his
throne because God said he was a man following God's heart. Saul
only did LITTLE things! But those little things were monsters to
God, like pride, self-pity and envy. He lost it all because his heart
motive became totally impure.
We can uphold the truth of God's Word without playing God in
the way we apply it to people. Only the Spirit knows the heart.
Only He knows how to thresh; only He knows what a person needs,
and we must LISTEN and let the Spirit tell us what to do. Let our
word be: Let mercy triumph over judgment; let the Word of Truth
stand unchanged; look to the heart before judging the action; and
never forget that the Holy Spirit is the only true counselor. We are
just His vessels.